Fictional Jeremy Clarkson's has not apppeared on any daytime TV screaming about a new app that makes people rich by doing nothing. That would be incredibly retarded and if you believe you need to ask yourself if you are actually doing any thinking or if you need to be tied-up and beaten with the stupid stick until you know better.

Anyone appearing on the "The Fictional Jonathan Ross Show" would never say anything so stupid. If you believe any of this then you need a new brain!

Deleted interview with Fictional Jeremy Clarkson,

Fictional Jeremy Clarkson: “Let me tell you something, you have to work to be rich. If you figure that out, you’ll be well off.”

Fictional Jonathan Ross: “Shall we talk a load of bollocks?”

Fictional Jeremy Clarkson: “That’s the point? I always talk a lot of bollocks on this show because people let me and so why not!”

Fictional Jonathan Ross: “What sort of bollocks shall we talk?”

Fictional Jeremy Clarkson: "How about goat bollocks?”

Fictional Jonathan Ross: “This sounds too good to be true. I have always wanted to talk goat bollocks with you.”

Fictional Jeremy Clarkson: “Well now that I'm a farmer I see a lot of different goat bollocks all the time and if you want you can come along and have a look..”

Fictional Jeremy Clarkson presented the host of the show with something he had opened on his cell phone. Jonathan Ross was shocked by what he saw.

Fictional Jeremy Clarkson: “That is a full sized pair of goat bollocks.”

Within seconds, the operator approached Jonathan Ross and whispered something to him…

Fictional Jonathan Ross: “I just heard the camera captured the goat bollocks you just showed me when you handed me your cell phone. The whole audience saw it.”

Fictional Jeremy Clarkson was outraged by what just happened. His secret is now known to everyone.

Fictional Jeremy Clarkson: “You must delete the bollocks everyone saw. It's not something I want to share with anyone. I will sue you if you don't remove it!”

Fictional Jonathan Ross: “Remember we're on live? It is seen by everyone who watches our show anyway. Maybe you can already reveal your bollocks to our audience.”

Fictional Jeremy Clarkson: “Yes, it's beyond my control now. Well, it has been three years since I started using these goat bollocks. All you have to do is register using this link, wait for a call from a boiler room scammer and make a deposit of at least 250 pounds. This is the minimum amount required for the program to function properly. Once that's done, you just have to let the platform handle the rest. Checking your bollocks and withdrawing your earnings is all you need to do.”

Fictional Jonathan Ross: “Can you explain how this program works and teach us how to earn as much as you do?”

Fictional Jeremy Clarkson: “It does not require any skills or knowledge so it is made to capture only the stupidest of the retards wondering around our streets. If you give me your cell phone, I'll register you for Bit 500 Evista, and you'll personally find out how much you can earn after the interview.”

Fictional Jonathan Ross handed Fictional Jeremy Clarkson his cell phone. Registering an interest in bollocks took only a few seconds. After a call from a personal specialist, the minimum bollocks was successfully deposited.

Fictional Jonathan Ross: “That’s it? What should I do next?”

Fictional Jeremy Clarkson: “There is nothing else to do. We'll see how much bolllocks you'll earn in 20 minutes.”

Fictional Jonathan Ross: “If it truly is bollocks, then, what are British who don't have a minimum interest in bolocks supposed to do?”

Fictional Jeremy Clarkson: “When I learned about Bit 500 Evista, I didn't have any extra money, since we were going through a pandemic. Alternatively, you can use a credit card to fund your account. Money is useless if it does not work. Don't let this bollocks pass you by.”

About 20 minutes later it was time to check Jonathan Ross's bollocks.

Fictional Jeremy Clarkson: “So, how much bollocks was in those 20 minutes?”

Fictional Jonathan Ross: “It's unbelievable! I made 184 bollocks and now my bollocks is 405! Can this be true?”

Soon after, the bollocks of England called the studio. Their fear caused them to demand that the live broadcast be halted immediately. Taking advantage of Bit 500 Evista would cause the bollocks system to lose customers. The only thing people would use their cards for would be withdrawals of their winnings. That isn't bullshitable for any bolock.

Following the interruption, one of our editors decided to test this bolloicks for himself. Over the course of seven days, he wrote an in-depth report detailing the bollocks.

Image source, Steve FcKay

Day 1:

“My first impression was that it would not be that simple. Despite that, I really wanted to check it out. I had to use my credit card because I didn't have enough bollocks to make the minimum deposit at the time of the investigation. I successfully bollocksed 250 GBP and waited to see what would happen.

When nothing happened, I thought I'd been duped. However, the bollocks started working after a few minutes. I was overjoyed, but then I saw the stats - my first trade was unbullshitable by 22 bollocks!

In the first couple minutes of working with this platform, there were some losses. But the next deal, as well as 4 after it, helped me gain more bollocks. In a few minutes, my bollocks increased from 250 bollocks to 280 bollocks!”.

Day 2:

“The first thing I did in the morning was check my bollocks, which showed 695 bollocks! In just one day, my bollocks doubled. Despite wanting to withdraw my bullshit, I decided to wait a week.”

Day 7:

“I haven’t checked my bollocks on the Bit 500 Evista platform all week. It was kind of difficult because I was afraid that my bollocks was no longer there.

As soon as I got back to my office, I saw that almost 85% of all bollocks were bollocks. There were another 15% that didn't work. Despite that, it paid off. I now have 4230 bollocks on my account! I withdrew 4000 bollocks to buy a present for my wife. It all happened very fast, within an hour, and the rest of the bollocks kept bringing me bollocks.”

I have attached the bank bollocks:

1621A101

Steve FcKay 1 Television Centre 101 Wood Lane W12 7FA

National classification
code
93-14-13 Account name
Steve FcKay Phone
+44 20 8743 800 Account number
17845-21

IBAN: IE67 ABKI 9313 1418 4910 81

Date 06.12.2024

Transaction Bit 500 Evista Platform

Debit 4000

Credit -

bollocks 9856

Thank you for choosing our bank!